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Bullying Prevention - Everyone's Responsibility
By (Mary Hall, PhD, Director, Safe Schools Manitoba)
Students throughout the province are heading back to school with anticipation - excited to get to know their new teachers and re-connect with friends. For most young people this is a positive experience; unfortunately for others, feelings of anxiety and fear as a result of bullying re-emerge. Educators are committed to providing respectful, caring, safe learning environments. Parents play a key role in these efforts. By working together, parents, educators and the broader community can address bullying in an effective, sustained manner.
With September upon us, it is timely to gain a better understanding of bullying dynamics, and share strategies to prevent and respond to it. Initiatives already in place include the Province's enactment of Safe Schools Legislation, the development of school division policies, and the implementation of numerous program strategies and policies. Despite those efforts, problems such as bullying continue to threaten the emotional and physical safety of some students. Bullying is a complex, deeply rooted problem taking its toll on everyone affected by it. There is no one single solution to bullying. It requires a continued, concerted effort by the home, school and the broader community.
What is bullying?
Bullying is an intentional, repeated assertion of power.
Forms of bullying:
- Verbal: name calling, nasty comments, false accusations, racist slurs, homophobic comments, sarcastic put-downs, spreading vicious rumours, threats.
- Relational: excluding, isolating, ruining reputations, destroying friendships, ignoring, and glaring.
- Physical: extorting, physical aggression - pushing, punching, kicking, beating, spitting, pinching, biting.
- Electronic: hurtful emails, cell phone text messages, instant messaging, personal websites and online polls.
Possible Warning Signs of Victimization:
- Prolonged unhappiness, anxiety, depression and/or outbreaks of anger
- Feelings of shame
- On-going sleep problems, poor appetite, stomach and/or head aches
- Low self-worth
- Unexplained injuries
- Damaged or missing possessions
- Requests for extra money
- Disinterest in school
- Reluctance to go to school
- Concerned about route to and from school
- Reluctance to spend time with friends
- Few friends
How to address bullying?
Young people are more likely to treat others with respect and dignity when this behaviour is modelled by adults at home, school and the community. It is also important to establish positive relationships between youth and caring, respectful adults. Bonding with caring adults is a significant protective factor against a range of problems, including bullying.
Parents
What to do if your child is being bullied?
Often children are reluctant to report bullying because they think that it will make matters worse. When parents engage in ongoing conversations about bullying, children are more likely to share their own experiences or the experiences of others.
- Assure your child that bullying can stop when adults (parents, teachers, coaches, etc) are aware of the problem.
- Recognize that it takes courage for your child to report bullying.
- Listen carefully to the details of incidents (who was involved, what happened, where did the bullying occur).
- Work closely with your child's school to address the problem. Contact your child's teacher first. Follow-up with the principal if necessary.
- Do not contact the bully's parents. It can make matters worse. The school will contact the children and parents involved in the situation.
- Do not suggest that your child ignore the problem. This strategy allows the bullying to continue.
- Do not suggest retaliation. It could escalate the intensity of the incidents. It is not an effective way to address the problem. Finally, your child may be disciplined for his/her actions.
- Encourage your child to project confidence - stand tall, make eye contact.
- Help all children and youth develop friendships with caring, respectful peers. Focus on students who are positive leaders among their peers.
- Help them identify adults who will listen, be supportive and help.
- Take every opportunity to build your child's confidence. Accentuate his/her strengths. Encourage participation in school and community activities.
- Once again, work closely with the school to ensure that your child is safe.
What to do if your child is bullying others?
While it is difficult to admit that your child may be involved in bullying, denial allows him/her to continue to hurt others. It does not teach him/her alternate, respectful behaviours. Finally, if it continues into adulthood, the bullying behaviour becomes entrenched.
- Establish clear behavioural expectations for all young people.
- Everyone needs to receive the same message - bullying is hurtful and it will not be tolerated.
- If you receive reports that your child is bullying others, talk to him/her about the incidents.
- Work closely with the school to determine the nature and extent of your child's involvement.
- Discuss the negative impact of his/her behaviour on the child who has been bullied.
- Partner with the school to consider appropriate consequences, while at the same time, reinforcing a sense of responsibility, as well as empathy for others.
- Continue to have regular contact with the school to address and monitor your child's behaviour.
What to do if your child is a bystander?
- All young people need to know that they have the potential to make their school safer.
- Encourage your child to be caring, respectful and inclusive of others.
- Develop their leadership skills.
- Engage in regular discussions with your child to determine if they have any safety concerns at school or in the community.
- Often children are reluctant to intervene in a bullying situation because they are intimidated, afraid of retaliation and/or they don't know what to do
- Work closely with the school to identify safe, effective ways to report and stop bullying.
- Help your child identify adults in your home, the school and community who he/she can go to for help.
- Explain to your child that when a group of bystanders take a stand against bullying, they can make it stop.
Educators
- Contribute to awareness and understanding of bullying dynamics through pre-service and in-service training.
- Engage in on-going communication with parents.
- Share resources at the school and community level.
- Establish behavioural expectations - make it clear that bullying is unacceptable.
- Conduct surveys to determine the nature and extent of bullying.
- Implement a confidential, anonymous means to report bullying.
- Use survey data and reports to identify the students involved, as well as the time and location of bullying incidents.
- Implement a visible, mobile, responsive adult supervision system.
- Intervene immediately when a bullying incident is encountered or reported.
- Track incidents of bullying.
- Work with parents to ensure that all children are safe at school.
- Provide support, counselling for victimized students.
- Determine logical, formative consequences for the bully.
- Avoid peer mediation. It is not appropriate given the imbalance of power.
- Determine the root causes of a bully's behaviour.
- Implement appropriate interventions - focus on accountability, as well as developing empathy and sensitivity.
- Consider restorative practices.
- If a student is engaged in bullying behaviours, teach him/her positive, respectful ways to treat others.
- Follow up with parents of students involved in bullying.
- Empower all students by engaging them in regular classroom meetings about bullying.
- Bystanders play a critical role. If they are fearful, lack confidence and/or a safe, effective means to intervene, the bullying is likely to continue.
- Work with students to build their confidence and establish a plan of action - share strategies to help others, intervene in a safe manner and report incidents of bullying.
- Develop the leadership potential of all students.
- Pair older students with younger ones. Establish a buddy system between peers.
- Model respectful, caring interactions with other adults and young people.
- Develop positive relationships with students.
- Continue to engage in regular conversations with parents.
Bullying prevention is everyone's responsibility. Parents, educators, students, members of the broader community and the media have a role to play in addressing the problem. When there is a long-term, coordinated commitment, we can make a difference and all young people will thrive.
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