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Education Experts: This Year, Inspire Your Child with Great Expectations
The new school year will be here soon, and parents are seeking the best back-to-school sources for supplies and clothes for their kids. But there are other ways to prepare your child for school - ways that can plant important seeds for their development and their success. "The best way to prepare your child or teenager to return to school is to talk to them about expectations," says Malcolm Gauld, president of Hyde Schools, a network of prep and charter schools in Maine, Connecticut, New York and Washington DC whose curriculum has been rooted in character education for more than 40 years.
"Get them fired up," he says, "not only about their school work, but - and this may be even more important - their ATTITUDE toward their work, as well as their relationships." ÆMalcolm and his wife, Laura Gauld, are the authors of The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have book and parenting seminars that help parents connect to their role as their children's greatest source of inspiration.
"Parents are busy taking care of so many things, it can be difficult to stay focused on our own attitude, let alone our kids' attitude," Laura says. "But it is imperative that we continue to set high expectations for them, and to remind them to have high expectations of themselves. "According to the Gaulds, the importance of setting high expectations for your kids will ultimately award your child with, for example, freedom of choice - such as admission to their college of preference.
"But we cannot look only to external achievements, such as grades, test scores or college acceptance as indicators of personal development," Malcolm says. "Alone these achievements do not ensure a full, well-lived, successful life. For that we must set high expectations for attitude. A good attitude will take
kids farther than any report card in life."
The Gaulds offer parents these simple guidelines to help them give their kids 'the right stuff' at the start of the new school year:
- Set High Expectations and Let Go of the Outcomes
Whether it's about academics, sports, or areas of personal growth, parents need to aim high with expectations and resist 'lowering the bar' when they sense that their children are having difficulty achieving success."This can be difficult for parents," says Laura. "We live in an achievement culture that measures kids by test scores and identifies winners early in life. Parentscan become afraid to let their children struggle to learn something for fear of a lower grade."But letting go of the outcome - that is, whether your kids win or lose - allows children the benefit of a true learning process, as well as the opportunity to take responsibility for their actions without feeling judged."
- Allow Obstacles to Become Opportunities
Parents can get caught up in trying to 'fix' their children's problems - conflicts or difficulties with their teachers, friends, teammates, and the like - instead of seeing the potential for positive learning opportunities."Don't rush in to help your child in all challenging circumstances. Weigh the situation," Malcolm says. "Often, a scenario is ripe with opportunity for your child to think, assess, learn, act and grow. This is what helps develop real self-esteem. Not allowing that experience by fixing things takes that opportunity away from your child."
- Value Success and Failure
Success is not the only path along which children move ahead in life. As parents know from their own experience, failure can teach powerful lifelong lessons leading to profound personal growth. Give your children the same opportunity to learn."We all want to eliminate the painful elements of our experience from our children's lives - but we can't," says Laura. "They need to encounter similar struggles in developing their identity. If we rob them of this, we cause them greater hardship as adults. Give them some facts and your good advice from experience - then let them grow."
- Inspiration: Job #1
"Parents, don't forget that children share a deep yearning to be inspired by you," Laura says. "When all of the noise of their athletic heroes, movie stars and pop music performers subsides, kids are most inspired by their parents. And contrary to the messages in our media and materialistic culture, we will NOT inspire our children with our financial of professional achievements."
"So how do we inspire them?" Malcolm asks. "We best inspire our kids when we share our struggles and reach for our best."
For more information about Malcolm and Laura Gauld visit their Web site. For more information about the Hyde Schools visit their Web site.
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