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Kid Doc Talk: Social Media Safety

By Janet Grabowski

I have two children, one is 13 and one is 15. They both use Facebook and Twitter. How do I keep my children safe and media savvy while using the Internet and social media?

Children and teens are creating and sharing information more than ever using digital media such as cell phones, smart phones, and computers. They send text messages, use Facebook and Twitter, write blogs, share photos and video to stay in touch with friends and family and to make new friends.

Social media offers lots of opportunity to help your child and teen be creative and stay connected and informed. But it's important to learn about the different technologies and how your children use them so you can help keep them safe online.

Social media refers to the online tools that connect people with common interests on the Internet. Unlike traditional media (TV, radio, newspapers and so on), social media allow users to interact with each other. Popular social networking websites include Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Flickr, and MySpace.

There are many different ways that people use social media:

• Online profiles: Most social media sites require users to set up a profile. A profile usually includes a name, e-mail address, birth date, interests and a photo.
• Friends: Depending on the kind of social media, users "follow" or "request friends" from people they know such as classmates or family. They may also use social media sites to find and meet new friends.
• Messaging: Sending short text messages over the Internet, using instant messaging and between cell phones.
• Walls and boards: Social media sites allow people to post or send messages in many different ways. On Facebook, for example, information is posted to a "wall." Some messages are visible to a wider audience, while others can be sent privately like e-mail.
• Photo and video sharing: Social networking sites allow users to upload personal photos and videos. Some sites, such as Flickr for photos and YouTube for videos, are used solely to share images.
• Blogs: A blog is a website kept by an individual who updates it with regular entries of text or photos and videos. It is a lot like a journal, only on the web. People who read blogs can comment and share published content among their own online networks.
• Joining groups: Many kinds of social media allow users to create groups. People join, "like" or follow these groups to get access to information and have conversations with other members.
• To play games: Children and teens visit online sites to play games, alone or with their friends. Some, like Facebook, include free online gambling applications.

You can help keep your children or teens safe by:

• Learning about the technologies your children and teens are using.
• Asking how they communicate with friends online. Tell them that you are willing and interested to learn about it.
• Keeping computers in common areas where you can watch while your children use them. Be clear about the rules for using the computer and set limits on the amount of time and how they can be used.
• Setting limits on cell and smart phone use. Talk about when it's a good time to use a cell phone. Your child or teen's school, for example, likely has rules about where and when they can or can't be used.
• Teaching them the value of "unplugging" from devices and computers for technology free time. Reinforce that no e-mail or message is so important that it can't wait until the morning. Enforce this message by keeping technology out of the bedroom. A child's cell phone should be kept in a different room at night so it does not disrupt sleep.
• Getting online protection for your family. Programs that provide parental controls can block websites, enforce time limits, monitor the websites your child visits, and their online conversations. Tell your children and teens that you are monitoring their online activity. Be aware that some parent control programs will block information about puberty and sexuality that you might want your teen to look for.
• Asking your children and teens about the people they "meet" online. Showing genuine interest will help them feel comfortable talking about it. Explain that it's easy for someone on the Internet to pretend to be someone they are not.
• Discussing what's okay and safe to post online and what isn't.
• Explaining that information and photos available online can turn up again years later. People can't always control the information others post about them.
• Asking your children and teens where else they access the Internet. Talk to teachers, caregivers and other parents about your rules for social media.
• Explaining that people are not always who they pretend to be online. Talk about the importance of keeping online friendships in the virtual world and how it can be dangerous to meet online friends face-to-face. Make it clear that if your child wants to meet a virtual friend in person, it must be with a trusted adult.
• Joining you child or teenager if they are playing online games (even if only to sit and watch) so you can see exactly what they are doing and talk to them about it.

Social media websites have privacy policies and settings, but they are all different. Some sites are completely public, meaning that anyone can read or look at anything, anytime. Other sites let you control who has access to your information.

Read a website's privacy policy before providing any personal information. Some social media websites, like Facebook for example, don't allow children under 13 to joint their site. Check your child's privacy policy settings to make sure he isn't sharing more information than you want.

The following suggestions will help your children protect their online privacy:

• For some social media sites it is a good idea to choose an online nickname, instead of using a real name.
• Keep everything password protected, and change passwords often.
• Don't accept friend requests from people you don't know in real life.
• Think carefully about what you post online. Remember: things that are posted online stay online forever. As a general rule, don't post anything you wouldn't want a parent or teacher to see or read.
• Remember to protect a friend's privacy too. Ask permission before posting something about a friend, a photo or a video.
• Be aware of what your friends are posting about you.
• If you use a GPS-enabled smart phone or a digital camera, you could be posting status updates, photos and videos with geotags. Geotags provide the exact location of where your photo was taken. Make sure these are turned off on your device.

Just as some people are bullied in real life, people are bullied online. It happens many ways: by sending mean messages by e-mail or posting them in an online forum or by sharing photos and videos without permission.

Talk to your children about cyber-bullying. If it isn't too serious, suggest that they ignore it at first. If it doesn't stop, is violent or sexually explicit or your child gets scared, encourage them to talk to you or another trusted adult. The Media Awareness Network has some more information on cyber-bulling.

Sexting is a term used to describe sending sexually explicit messages, photos or videos between cell phones. It can also happen using e-mail or on social media websites.

• Ask your teen what she knows about sexting.
• Talk about the dangers of sexting. Remind her that words and photos posted online can easily be shared among many different people.
• Remind your teen that nothing is ever really deleted online. Friends, enemies, parents, teachers, coaches, strangers, and potential employers can find past postings.

Dr. Janet Grabowski is a paediatrician in Winnipeg. She is a member of the Canadian Paediatric Society. For more information on your child's growth and development, get answers from Canada's paediatric experts in either English* or French.* The website has new look and more information than ever. Visit often for news you can use, the latest information on your child's age and stage and helpful tips for every day. You can also find us on Facebook and on Twitter @CaringforKids.
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